Right so. First of all, massive TW on that link for sexual coercion.
Also, though: what?! What kind of world do people live in where “maybe” and “I am a lesbian and you are a dude and I am not attracted to you in the least” are answers that lead a person to think that sexytimes with this person are happening? What kind of world is it where someone hears those answers and keeps initiating sex with the person? I am lucky. I am really, really lucky because I just don’t get it.
I just don’t get the mindset where sex is something you do at someone as opposed to with them. I don’t get the mindset where you are so disconnected from the other person that you can have sex with them even if you have no idea if they want to be there or not. I don’t understand it. I can’t understand wanting to have sex with a person who doesn’t really obviously want to be there.
I’m at a loss here. A disgusted loss.
Related articles: pervocracy and yes means yes edition
- #401: I can’t tell whether my girlfriend wants to have sex with me. (Spoiler: She doesn’t!) (captainawkward.com)
- Models of Sex (pervocracy.blogspot.ie)
- The Myth of the Boner Werewolf (pervocracy.blogspot.ie)
- What is Rape Culture? (pervocracy.blogspot.ie)
- This is what rape culture looks like (yesmeansyesblog.wordpress.com)
- Mythcommunication: It’s not that they don’t understand, they just don’t like the answer (yesmeansyesblog.wordpress.com)
- The (nonexistent) Terrible, Horrible, No-good, Very Bad Consequences of Enthusiastic Consent (yesmeansyesblog.wordpress.com)
Originally posted on CaptainAwkward.com:
As of 12/7 comments on this discussion are closed.
I need a script for talking to my girlfriend about what she wants in bed. She’s eighteen and I’m twenty and we’ve been together for four years. Neither of us really experimented with other people before we met each other, so we’ve done most of our sexual experimenting and maturing together. The problem is, we’re still having big communication problems.
The first issue is that, over the past year or so, my girlfriend has started to think that she might be a lesbian. She says she’s attracted to girls and not guys, and has explicitly stated that she’s not physically attracted to me. I think this might be part of the cause of the second issue.
The second issue is, my girlfriend never gives me an answer about whether or not she wants to have sex. She never…
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