When gay women get boyfriends: more lesbian biphobia from AfterEllen.

I don’t want to comment much on this, since I think it speaks for itself. However, if you’ve ever wondered why some queer women disappear from their LG(bt) communities if they enter into different-sex relationships?

There was an article posted on AfterEllen yesterday: Sheryl Swoopes’ comes out as NSGAA (not so gay after all). It appears that Swoopes is an American basketball player who was in an reasonably high-profile relationship with another woman for several years. The article author just found out that Swoopes is now engaged to a man.

Normally, when I find out that a person is engaged to another person, the first word out of my mouth is “congratulations”.

Here’s what the linster, the author of this post, had to say:

..but to find out, you’ll have to come join me in the Tea Cosy’s new home. See you there!

11 thoughts on “When gay women get boyfriends: more lesbian biphobia from AfterEllen.

  1. Hmmm, 3-time MVP of the WNBA, 4-time WNBA champion, a collegiate national championship, college player of the year, a boatload of records including breaking Bill Walton’s single-game championship scoring mark, a total phenom on both offense and defense, acclaimed as the Michael Jordan of the women’s game (I would argue that she is more historically significant, as the foundational player – the first draftee – of the WNBA), and this is what people are fixating on: whom Sheryl Swoopes chooses to sleep with. Aargh!

  2. This article talks about how damaging it is for bi women to come out as lesbian then to date guys, but what about all those lesbians that come out as bi when they really mean undecided or not sure yet. This gives bisexuals a bad reputation as it make them look confused or undecided, and it contributes to biphobia. I agree that people should use the correct label, but it needs to be used on both sides.

  3. Difficult issue. For Bisexual men the gay male community has been ruthless insisting for years that bisexuals don’t exist. Most bi guys then avoid the gay community – I have only dated gay men in more open circles like the radical fairies. I have switched so often from male to female partners that it was hardly possible to even call myself “gay” even though the gay male community often insist on it. I am now dating two bisexual girls, I was dating a boy and a girl earlier. But earlier when I wanted to date only men, after a break up with a straight girl, it was nearly impossible to get any guy dude to actually date. I ended up doing hookups with the word “cuddler” so I could get guys who did not have intimacy problems. I actually asked one guy out to do more than sex and still no. So back to the girls. – oh and so you know I knew I was bisexual at 14. To many gay guys delude themselves on this one.

  4. are you saying this is messed up or this is cool? I’m so over this shit in the community. why can’t we love whoever we want? I’m a bio dude and i’ve dated trans women before and people in the community don’t know what to do with me and their reaction has been eww. I’m not exaggerating either. after being so discriminated against by society why would we replicate that on our fellow brothers, sisters, and everything in between. i don’t want to be labeled bisexual either but this week I’ve come to terms with the fact that I like more than just the male gender. and it was hard to accept that because of how the community is but I’m sooooooo over it!!!!

    • I’m a little gutted by this too. I’ve dated and loved both women and men and it has take a long time coming to terms with my sexuality. Maybe I am still coming to terms with it. Boxing people in like this isn’t cool. Lesbians are not a team, they are just a group of people who happen to be sexually attracted to other women. If one of them happens to fall for a man then she hasn’t done anything wrong towards the “team”.

  5. I think a lot of people are buysexual, and that’s what it all boils down to. People will buy into anything and everything, at times, depending upon the semantics of the situation, sure some women cannot even fathom the idea of being with a man, and the same holds for some men, but then, something happens, emotional changes occur and their willing to sell out, what they once valued so highly, which was just an illusion!

  6. Sorry for my horrible grammer//etc,

  7. I don’t know, I kind of have mixed feelings about this. I don’t know much about this particular case, and whether or not the woman actually said she was just a lesbian or if that’s how media portrayed her because she was going out with a woman at the time but was actually bisexual. But women who say they’re lesbians and then date men are harmful to the community. I don’t have the same fiery hatred that I did when I was younger, which mainly originated from being constantly told that I just hadn’t met the right man and who knows, lesbians change their mind constantly. I didn’t actually believe them but after meeting a bunch of hasbians it became harder to disagree with the flaky, attention seeking girl stereotype. I don’t mean to come off as harsh but it seems like most of them should have known they were attracted to men. At least with all the women I knew it seemed obvious that they weren’t gay, but anytime I suggested to them that they might be bisexual they became offended and adamantly stuck to their lesbianism, almost like they just liked the word but not actually the meaning. Is there anyone who can please explain why they would say they’re lesbian when they’re attracted to men, especially considering how taboo it still is to be lesbian?

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