I woke up this morning to the following comment in my mod queue:
A true cynic will criticize everyone, both the majority and the minority. I oppose homosexuality, and I blame heterosexuals for promoting it implicitly by their own increasingly pleasure-seeking sexual activity.
To have a meaningful life, do not seek pleasure. Instead seek meaning and purpose. Homosexuality, like many forms of heterosexuality, has no real purpose.
While this comment is ridiculous and the blog the commenter links to even more so, I would like to engage with some of the ideas he brings up
Seeking Pleasure and Meaning
Matthew’s accusation towards us queermos (and a lot of you straight people out there!) is that we get into relationships for no good reason other than pleasure.
Guilty as charged.
While my relationship with the Ladyfriend brings many wonderful things into my life, the primary reason that I’m with her? Happiness. She makes me smile the kind of smile that feels like it goes past my face and under my ribs all the way to my frickin’ toes. Everything else stems from that. I work on our relationship, through our differences, to be the best partner I can be because being around her makes me really, really happy.
And y’know what? That’s precisely the same reason that straight people do exactly the same thing. We make each other happy. Happiness and pleasure aren’t different to meaning- they’re part of meaning. Sharing pleasure, joy and fulfilment are a huge part of what makes our lives meaningful. Following the things which bring you most joy is, in my view, one of the best ways to figure out what your life should mean.
No real purpose?
Matthew would have us think that homosexuality is purposeless, as is, I assume, any hetero relationship that doesn’t involve children.
Take a moment. Think about the people you love. Think about the ways they enrich your life. How they encourage you to follow your dreams. How you are inspired to be a better person by their example and presence. How much learning is involved in sharing your life with others. The ways that you help each other through hard times and share your happinesses. All of the innumerable ways in which the people you love make your life a hell of a lot better than it otherwise could ever be.
That’s purpose. That’s what our relationships are for– they’re an end in themselves. The good things about relationships are, well, the good things about relationships. If Matthew has never had a loved one support him through a tough time, or phoned up someone to share good news, or kicked back with a friend to enjoy a hobby, then I feel sorry for him. If he has, though, then he knows full well that relationships are important just as they are.
- HomoQuotable – Greg Quinlan (joemygod.blogspot.com)
- Ex-gay Christian Advocate Discovered on Gay Sex App Grindr. (gayteen101.wordpress.com)
- A Knife Through The Heart Of Traditional Marriage? (kevboyle.blogspot.com)
- Why is same sex marriage so controversial? (newstatesman.com)
- Vatican article likens gay marriage to communism (seattlepi.com)
- UK Philosopher: Gay Marriage Is Homophobic (queerty.com)