Drink from me and live forever: the (updated) case for Vampire Jesus.


This is an edited version of a post from two Easters ago. I couldn’t resist giving it another go!

I know that you lot are used to getting scintillating, intellectually challenging, and delightfully witty posts from me here at the Tea Cosy. Which is why, today, I’m dealing with one of the most pressing issues of our time. One of the major misunderstandings of the (Western) world. Something that affects us all.

I’m referring, of course, to what is traditionally referred to as Zombie Jesus Day. In recent years a large body of literature has grown up asserting that Jesus, a reasonably historically-relevant Palestinian from the latter-day Roman era, suffered beyond the end of his life from infection with a zombie virus. The evidence given for this hypothesis is based on several sources from the (almost) contemporary literature which describe Jesus as having become reanimated after his demise. This is, of course, a major feature of zombie infection. However, a more in-depth look into the symptoms of zombification leads me to doubt that this was, in fact, the condition which Jesus suffered from. I contend, instead, that he was infected with the relatively more benign vampirism strain of the undead family of viruses.

Find out why (how’s that for clickbait?) over at the Tea Cosy’s new home!

5 thoughts on “Drink from me and live forever: the (updated) case for Vampire Jesus.

  1. Hmm, vampire tomorrow? Well, I’d rather not be ostracized… Already being a vegetarian I would probably be able to deal with not drinking too much blood if I could find a substitute to feed on. I’d just like people to treat me the same as they do now. I’d also like my girlfriend to stay dating me.đŸ˜›

  2. Why can’t they have a “Love” button?

  3. Pingback: The Girl Who Bathed in Blood (Second story in the Time Blood Trilogy) | The Twilight Fun Blog

  4. Pingback: Unsolicited Advice: It Came From The Search Terms | Consider the Tea Cosy

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