How To Not Be A Complete Douchecanoe To Gender Variant People: Pronouns Edition

We’re going to have to get something out of the way before I start this: I didn’t watch the Eurovision this year. Or last year. I think the last time I saw it was either three or four years ago. It was a perfectly pleasant experience, although I generally rather my rare moments of alcohol-induced patriotism come with less Jedward. What I’m getting at here is that while I completely understand the appeal of camp spectacle and national pride, I was perfectly content with my own decision to spend the evening knocking my friends (and bare acquaintances) over in stinky skate gear. We all have our hobbies, y’know?

I have gathered from the internet that this person likes to sing songs and also have fabulous hair on her face as well as on her head.

Anyhoo, even from where I was sitting it was impossible to miss that this year’s winner (or at least, the person everyone’s talking about) is Conchita Wurst. Unable to resist a palaver, I gave ‘er a google and a watch. Aside from having a daycent song (if you like that kind of thing, which I do), Wurst also presents as strikingly gender-variant. And also just plain striking (those eyes!). And while most people are cheerfully (and accurately) exclaiming about how great she is, there’s also the loudmouths who seem to have missed out on how to deal courteously and calmly with the fact that there exist people on this planet whose genders aren’t immediately apparent to bystanders.

This post is for them.

A little note before we start: I, your friendly blogger, am cis. This post is by me. If you read this and then talk to someone who’s not cis and they disagree with me, then for the love of all that’s cute and fluffy listen to them and don’t you dare refer to me to argue with them because I am significantly more likely to be wrong than they are.

That said, let’s go on.

Panic, Chaos, Dogs And Cats Living Together, Nothing In My Life Has Prepared Me For This!

And with that, here’s your friendly message directing you to the Tea Cosy’s new home for the rest of the post. See you there!

10 thoughts on “How To Not Be A Complete Douchecanoe To Gender Variant People: Pronouns Edition

  1. This is lovely. Thanks for writing it!

  2. Well said!

    My husband just loves Eurovision, and we landed in the pub for the voting. I can’t tell you how many times we had to explain Conchita to other drunken fools. Firstly: they all knew we would know the answers because we were cheering for her so loudly! We are a CIS married couple – but he has really long blonde wavy hair, dances like a mad thing, and loves fashion, while I avoid makeup, work in a warehouse, drive a Harley and refuse to carry a purse (oh yeah, he also carries a ‘man bag.’) So people of general ignorance assume he’s gay, and the massively, aggressively ignorant say (nastily, to our faces) that he’s a fag and I’m a dyke. Lovely, isn’t it, to be given abuse for being yourselves.
    We might consider moving to Austria or Berlin where people don’t seem to care as much about rigid gender roles.

  3. The anger I felt and still feel about Conchita winning Eurovision is because she won by vote only as a statement for equality and to campaign for LGBT rights.
    This is not what these contests are for! They should have nothing to do with politics at all, it should be about the show, the performance and the music.
    So actually, The Netherlands should have won because they were by far more musical, they were different and the most pleasing to watch from a performance perspective.
    It is such a shame to turn a musical performance based contest into a platform for politics and will continue to fracture the arts.

  4. How old does a baby have to be before it stops being an object?

    • Dude are you trying to oh-so-sneakily bring abortion into this? Because if so.. derailing ain’t big and it ain’t clever.

      My legit, good-faith answer in case that’s not what you’re doing, though? Born. I think using ‘it’ to refer to babies is weird and icky.

  5. Perfect post. Bravo and thank you x

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